Financial grooming is a scam that runs for weeks or months. Someone builds a relationship first, as a friend, a partner or a mentor, and only then brings in money. Romance scams and investment scams, including the ones called pig butchering, follow the same arc. This page sets out the stages so you can see where a conversation sits.
It starts with a message from someone you do not know. Often it looks like a mistake: a wrong number, or a text meant for someone else. They are friendly, patient and interested in you, and they talk every day. Nothing is asked of you for a long time, which is what makes it feel real. When money comes up, it comes up as an opportunity or a favour, from someone you already trust.
First contact. A wrong-number text, a dating match, a friend request or a message in a group. From inside, it feels like chance.
Trust. Daily messages, often moved to WhatsApp or Telegram. Photos, routines, problems shared. From inside, it feels like a real friendship or relationship.
Money appears. An investment that has worked for them, a business, or a crisis. From inside, it feels like being let in on something, or being asked to help someone you care about.
The first small amount. A small deposit or loan. On an investment platform, a small withdrawal works, which seems to prove it is real.
Escalation. Bigger amounts, urgency, a deadline, a bonus about to expire.
The block. Your money cannot come out until you pay a tax, a fee or a deposit, or the crisis needs one more payment. From inside, it feels like one last step.
The end, and the second round. They disappear, or someone new offers to recover your money for a fee. That is the same scam again.
Ask yourself four questions. Have you met this person face to face, or on a live video call that was not cut short? Has money come up in any form? Has anyone asked you to keep it from your family or your bank? Have you been told to pay before you can take your own money out? One yes does not make it a scam. Two or more is the shape of one. You can check any message from them with Flggd.
Before any money: stop replying, send nothing, and talk to someone you trust outside the conversation.
If you have sent money: call your bank now, and stop sending more, whatever you are told about getting it back.
If you cannot withdraw: do not pay any fee, tax or deposit to release it. Paying will not release it.
If someone offers to recover your money for a fee: that is a scam. Real recovery goes through your bank and the police, and they do not charge.
Then report it
Send yourself this page so you can forward it, or read it later when you are not standing in a shop.
Email it to myself
