Reciprocity and obligation

Reciprocity is the obligation created by receiving. Cialdini's work established how reliably it operates, including when the initial gift is trivial and unsolicited.

In fraud it appears as the small loan that is repaid, exactly and on time, before the larger one is requested. A repaid loan buys enormous trust for very little money, and it converts the relationship from a request into an exchange.

It also appears as the early withdrawal that works, the free gift that arrives, the helpful favour performed unprompted, and the technician who spends forty minutes patiently fixing a problem before mentioning a fee.

What makes it effective is that refusing afterwards does not feel like caution. It feels like ingratitude, which is a social cost most people will pay money to avoid.

Charity fraud runs almost entirely on a variant of this, where refusing carries a moral cost rather than a social one.

The check is to notice when the accounting started. Anything given before you asked for it is a position, not a gift.